Wednesday, November 12, 2003

I Wonder What Exactly a Hero Is

12 November, 2003 0250

I’m feeling better as of late, in spite of all the nonsense going on around here. We’ve been talking so much and it really feels great. You are the best Nora, you really support me when I need it – you always come through for me. You’re so strong. I love you.
Well, tonight was busy, like every other night. I really need to cover the events of the past few days. They are very interesting, each story has a lesson to learn. I’ll devote all of tonight to documenting everything, as activity is increasing. It’s resembling a war more and more, and I’ll see on TV today Washington saying we’ll be out by next year. That is bullshit. We should face reality, deal with real facts and issues, in order to find real solutions. There’s a solution, I feel it in my deepest reasoning. I just wish I had the power to do something more than enforce the status quo. You realize more than ever, that the people here dying are heroes. They’re heroes because they have to face death everyday – and they go forward. They’re heroes for overcoming the fear of death. Bush is not a hero. Politicians aren’t heroes. They will never face death in this way. No one will ever make them run a gauntlet of bombs on a highway. Our guys are heroes because they resign themselves with some dignity to accepting their fate – to go down a path someone has chosen for them. That’s why they’re heroes – not because of bravery under fire, but for facing the struggle within. It’s a struggle between life and death, and the outcome cannot be controlled. Very few Americans know such a struggle capable of resulting in so complete a loss. Many lose lives, lose limbs, lose wives, lose dreams. Maybe they aren’t heroes. Maybe I just want to believe that because it’s too horrible to think these guys are dying in vein. This is the bottom line. I don’t exactly know what a hero is anymore – but these guys dying and facing danger must be heroes in comparison to the bureaucrats in Washington. I know what a hero isn’t.


The CPA has been attacked again, just 2 hours ago. The guard towers called me on the phone and told me about a series of explosions to the west. The exact same report I got last night when CPA was attacked. Last night CPA was hit with two rockets and one mortar. Tonight it was hit with several mortars.


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